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Monday, 15 April 2013

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Fat Black Actress Biography

Source(Google.com.pk)

I am definitely an aspiring actress, I sit and have dreams about acting with the best, being on the big screen, walking down red carpets and schmoozing with Brangelina, the whole cliche Hollywood dream. But seriously, I want to be an actress so bad it's stupid, not because of just the 'perks' but because it's the only thing I can actually see myself wanting to do when I wake up for a good chunk of my life! I've realised a lot of things though, being the analytical person I am, I've noticed that they're aren't many black actress out there and the handful that are deep into the industry tend to be skinny and sexy (two things which most definitely am not!), with the exception of Gabourey Sidibe and Mo'nque, but even with them, they seem to be extremes. I would consider myself as overweight but not an extreme, which makes me fear that I'm too much in the middle to be considered special. Even Glee's Amber Riley is a prime example of that, although we can all agree she's a powerhouse with that voice of hers, she got turned down plenty of times before glee, just because of her weight! It's things like this that make me doubt things, will I ever get that 'big break' or will I just be one of the millions of 'never-has-or-will-be actors' that end up stuck working in a coffee shop for the rest of their lives.

Being from a Nigerian family is so much of hindrance in any person hoping to have career in the arts, you're told that you must be successful, you must earn lots of money, you must be doctors, lawyers, politicians. The creative dream is not at all something that fits into that ideology, making it a problem. Although, I'm lucky enough to have VERY Nigerian parents (I'm talking born and raised, met and married) who support what I want to do, it's everyone else that I have to worry about from church members to relatives they all want to put their own two cents in, either that or they believe you're so good that you'll start earning straight away putting an enormous amount of pressure on me to be better than the best. Even normal people seem to be against an acting career, tagging it with words such as unreliable and unrealistic, fact! Quite Recently, I was at A&E, while getting checked out, the female doctor asked me what I want to do when I'm older, I had a moment of hesitation thinking whether to tell her the truth or not, since I had just decided acting is what I wanted to do but then I thought screw it and told her. I am not joking when say her face switched immediately, resulting in her giving me the 'the look' most people give when you say you want to be an actor. She then went on to give me and my dad a lecture about the negatives of my chosen career path, finishing off with saying my dad should pay her for (and I quote) 'steering me in the right direction'. I smiled politely throughout her little speech and said nothing but inside I was fuming, she blatantly tried to rubbish my still fragile choice, although she may have meant well, I don't think she should have done that, I'm strong-willed so my decisions don't change easily but some impressionable teen's whole life could be changed by that one thing she said and that's a very scary thought.

I guess it's that comes with the territory, the disapproval and insecurity but like everything in life, you have to choose between security and happiness, the ultimate head and heart dilemma because the truth is it's not them that'll have to do the Job, it's you, it's me and no one else so the decision is one I will make based solely (hopefully) on me. Sometimes I wonder how I'm only 14 and these are the things I think about, Lord help me.

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